Monday, August 18, 2008

Battle Poet: Iron Crib

Let the games begin!
The entries are as follows:

Entry A
The sun shines through my window
And lands upon my desk.
It creeps along the floor
And up my treasure chest.
It shines upon a picture
Hanging on my wall,
Then it goes away
As if it weren’t there at all.

Entry B
Blippety bloopety blave
The mouse hid in a dark cave
Then - jiminy! Drat!
The cave was Tom Cat!
So a kick to Tom's tonsils he gave

Entry C
I journeyed from the Land of Zonder
To walk barefoot in the grass
But when I tried to pick a rose
I found that I’d walked past

Entry D
Pop Corn! Yelled the vender
From across the isle
But when I tried to eat it up
It was empty all the while

Entry E
Sparkle, sparkle, firework show
Sending sparkles tally ho!
Spatter, spatter, raindrops clatter
Sending children running home.

Entry F
Tiny faces with perched up lips
These are the kisses I like the best
Beautiful hands and tinny tiny feet
To hold each other, a savored memory I will forever keep
Twinkling eyes that look up so dear
Beautiful giggles I live for to hear
No expectations, no worries at all
Always trusting in me to soften their fall
Dreaming together and watching clouds
Their orneriness and creativity make me proud
From my womb to life, a love so deep
These are the miracles that really make me think

Entry G
There’s a bear in our church,
No one knows why he’s there,
He was spotted this morning,
You could see his black hair.
He scared all the kids,
As he ran down the hall,
They heard his loud growl,
And saw his large paws.
When no one’s around,
He plays the guitar,
He loves to eat salmon,
Smokes smelly cigars.
It turns out he’s friendly,
And really quite shy,
Wait, he’s not a bear,
Just a romance writer guy!

Entry H
A long time ago in a faraway land
There lived a princess who loved just one man

Although she was sweet and although she was kind
There were bad people who had foul things in mind

The bad people had plans and oh how they tried
To start a war with the neighbors they despised

They kidnapped the princess - on her engagement day no less
And were going to kill her (as Alison would guess)

Lucky for her, there was a swordsman so fine
That if he were smarter, the situation he could define

His friend was a kind giant (most of the time)
Who had a big heart and the gift of the rhyme

These 2 were the captors of the beautiful girl
Led by a man so vile your stomach would curl

Up the Cliffs of Insanity they started to climb
But a man in black was following and gaining time

(No this man in black was not Will Smith
That’s another story that is shrouded in myth)

He fought the swordsman to the end in an epic battle
Worthy of any tale that can be told with much prattle

Then he continued his chase after the maiden so fair
And found himself in a clash with the larger of the pair

The man in black finally knocked the giant out cold
When he forced him to submission with his excellent choke hold

The Sicilian who kidnapped her was all that was left
And the man in black wanted to stop him from this horrible theft

This man was her true love - a farm boy thought gone
That had not been seen for 5 years this dawn

He beat the Sicilian with a powder from Australia
By putting it into the drinking paraphernalia

But the story does not end here – it’s not time to cheer
There’s a twist in this plot that is quite queer

You see the man in black that she loved was not the prince
She thought him dead and was engaged in recent times since

Suffice it to say this made things quite bad
For the 2 people and the love that they had

In order to save space (and 2 hours to deadline)
We’ll condense the rest to one major headline

The swordsman and giant helped the man in black
To thwart the prince and find their love back

The problem I have is that I lied this day –
This made the maiden not a princess in any way

So the crux of my story is sad indeed
If you lie in your opening – the victory you concede

Let this be a lesson to all that have read
And try to listen to all that I have said

If you want to write a nursery rhyme and you are lost
It’s better to give up no matter the cost

For the embarrassment you get for doing so bad
Is much greater than the small enjoyment you had

I guess this rhyme does have a moral
Don’t enter into other people’s poem quarrel.

Please vote on the left using the poll buttons. I will hold the polls open until Thursday at 0800 (MST). May God defend the right.


Anonymous said...

wow, two poems with princess bride references.

Alison said...


It's hard to vote! I liked it better when I hosted this and knew who wrote each one, although I have it pretty well figured out...I think.